Shuyi - 2003

This is supposed to be a Shopping Page
Hmm... If I could sell any of my possessions for money, what would they be? Thanks to Ron's suggestion I'm gonna think about this.

In the past, things really mattered to me. I needed to hold on to a physical thing to feel safe. I needed it to be with me; I needed to know it was with me. One possession I distinctively remembered as a young child was this ovaline cloudy stone, my grandma found in the washing area. It was a gem to me. I carried it everywhere, experimented with it- put in the water, in the freezer, in the pillow case. Then I lost it. Every now and then in the past I would be overcomed by this sudden urge to want to find it. I had to have it. I really wanted it.

Does that explain why I cry when I lose things? I don't just lose that thing, I lose a part of me.

Last year, Yijie smsed me something which I found wise. I had thought I lost one of my notebook which contained information like what I did today and many of my thoughts and thoughts of others- a gem.
I told him I was very scared it's gone and he said something to the effect of "Don't worry, whatever was in there, you wrote it and so it belonged to you wherever it was, and you can produce it again."

Nowadays, things just don't matter that much anymore. I wonder if it's because of my knowledge of God's love for me. Over these few years, I've become closer to God. Remember that when you die, you leave with nothing physical. Maybe, I've started to treasure things money can't buy. Like love. Can't buy me love. :)

So, what would I sell? I don't know, if you can convince me to give the money I'm getting from what I'm selling to the church or to the needy people, I'll sell anything I have that is valuable to me, including my precious antique Jesus seal and my stuffed lamb I got from Korea.

I'm in NJC now and I've been very busy

The purpose of this page
Dilane, a friend I got to know from NJC told me he'd been here yesterday (17/1/2003) so I came for a visit too. I don't know if I would recognize these writings on the pages here if I came 20 years later but the Shuyi of this website, the 14 to 15 year old Shuyi is someone I want to remember. I keep changing but I don't want to forget. But if it's better to forget, I would.
This page is just here to act as a contrast, if there's any. I want you to know the Shuyi of today. I want to break out of my mould and do the things God has planned for me. I don't know what yet but with prayer and supplication, may it be revealed to me.

Shuyi in Everland, Snowbusting in South Korea

Have a comment?
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How am I different?
If you knew the Shuyi back then as I knew her, while reading the pages, you'd have realised that she is so free with so much time to spend finding her interests and looking at interesting webpages. But now, I am in JC and I don't have that time. The time that isn't taken up for school and CCA, would have to be taken up by homework, friends and little things like stoning(not the drug term but I meant it as simply staying still and doing nothing). I doubt if I have any other time. I do update my journal still. There are things I want to say which I hope someone would read.

If I could leave all of you with a last word, what would it be?

People have been telling me, time flies when you're in JC. Very soon, it'll be over. I can understand how now. It's because you've got so much to do!
Whoever you are, wherever you are, remember to be grateful and content. Once you have gratitute and are conscious how lucky you are, you can allow yourself to be happy. And when you're sad, I can tell you one thing to be happy about it - you use a lot less energy (unless you have anxiety which is a murderer). I've been happy and I've been sad (could simply mean not happy as well) and I feel that being happy makes me more tired.

My new motto is: Let all that you do be done in love.

Let it be yours too!